No matter how torn, tattered, worn out, old, untested or un-used it may be. It's been a long time. That's what being married to an alcoholic does to you. It sinks you. It drives you down to the depths of your own personal darkness where you are willing to lay down and die. Ready to let the darkness engulf you and bury all you ever expected, wanted, hoped and believed in for your life. Getting up in the morning is excruciating. You start the day pissed off before you've barely

He will win. The alcoholism will win. The despondency and the grief. The anger and the regret. Oh the regret. They will all win but...

Someone messaged me and asked if things had gotten better, worse or stayed the same with my husband and his drinking. This is what you...

I have been married to my alcoholic husband for over 20 years now. (So hard to believe and comprehend where that time went.) I have felt...

I remember when the weekends were the hardest because he meant my alcoholic husband would spend two days drinking and being drunk. The...

I've spent a long time grieving who I have become as a result of my marriage. A long time mourning the loss of my soul. This marriage...

I was trying to mentally "list" the losses I have had over the course of my adult life. Not for any macabre or victim-claiming exercise...

I have a friend who is also married to an alcoholic. In fact, her husband and mine are eerily the same in regards to behavior and...

What a way to ring in the new year, right? A doom and gloom post about eternal alcoholism. My apologies but on occasion, I will get a...

There are a lot of terms and concepts attached to alcoholism that I find particularly problematic. "Co-dependent" and "detach with love"...

The great irony (one of them, anyway) of being married to an alcoholic is it's not "that bad..." And then suddenly it is. You can manage,...

My husband is verbally abusive. I'm embarrassed to acknowledge how dismissive I have become of that. Most days, he's here physically but...

Til I make it done. If ANYONE had EVER told me how hard it would be for me to extract myself from a marriage to a toxic alcoholic, I...

I hate who I have become as a result of my marriage. I am an angry, volatile, raging person. But mostly on the inside. This is a problem....

I just hate my life so fucking much. I don't know any other way to put it. I just hate my fucking life. I don't even think I can blame...

There is a lot that hurts about being married to an alcoholic. A. Lot. But perhaps some of the most painful, destructive, toxic behavior...

I have a friend - and she is a good friend - but everything is so dramatic in her life. Good, bad - anything in her life - is described...

I've been married to an alcoholic for over 20 years now and yet I still remember, too astutely, the pain and utter hopelessness of the...

When I decided to start a blog, my idea was to be that voice in the middle of the night - the one I once looked for out of desperation...

It's taken me over 20 years to get here. To a place, The place, where I no longer define myself by my marriage to an alcoholic. For as...