top of page
  • wrenrwaters

I Hate Who I Have Become

I hate who I have become as a result of my marriage.

I am an angry, volatile, raging person.

But mostly on the inside.

This is a problem.

THE problem.

Because when the inside can no longer contain the rage and the anger, guess where it goes? Guess who it is directed at? Yep.

My children. My pets. My home.

I can go out into the world and be this very present, very pleasant, kind, open, engaging person.

And then I get home....

It's not that the outside-world me is false and the at-home me is genuine.

It's not that the at-home me is false and the outside-world me is genuine.

They are both genuine.

They are both me.

But one doesn't belong.

I am just So. FUCKING! Angry deep down inside.

He's ruined EVERYTHING.

And yet I know.

I know I can no longer blame him or hold him responsible.

He may have been the one to run over me with a steamroller.

But I'm the one who's not getting up.

70 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

I have a friend who is also married to an alcoholic. In fact, her husband and mine are eerily the same in regards to behavior and drinking habits. Beer is both their beverages of choice and both cho

What a way to ring in the new year, right? A doom and gloom post about eternal alcoholism. My apologies but on occasion, I will get a review on one of my books that reads something like, "Not all sit

There are a lot of terms and concepts attached to alcoholism that I find particularly problematic. "Co-dependent" and "detach with love" would be two examples. But while I could concede some ground

bottom of page