Weekends Are The Hardest

I remember when the weekends were the hardest because he meant my alcoholic husband would spend two days drinking and being drunk. The weekends are still the hardest - but for a different reason. Yes, he still drinks, gets drunk but that's not even what eats at me anymore. I've given up being affected by his choice to drink compulsively. But what I haven't been able to make peace with yet is the sheer waste of time and life and potential by him every weekend.

He does NOTHING all weekend.

NOTHING!

He doesn't even necessarily drink all weekend - though he will drink at least part of it. But worse than that - he just watches television All. Weekend. Long.

I can't stand it.

I can't stand being around it. I can't stand bearing witness to it.

Nothing.

I am telling you N-O-T-H-I-N-G all weekend long.

It's both maddening and mind boggling how he can stand it.

It puts me in the foulest of foul moods. I know I need to let this go. I know its his journey to live - or waste. I know....

But God it's hard to be around.