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If I Could Tell An Alcoholic One Thing

If I could tell an alcoholic one thing...

It might seem like there is far, far more than "one thing" to tell an alcoholic and yes, of course there is. But if I could tell him one thing and be guaranteed he would hear it, this is what I would tell him:

It doesn't matter how much you do - even if you've been doing nothing.

It doesn't matter how nice you are - even if you've been mean and cruel.

It doesn't matter how many little things you think of - even if you've only been thinking of yourself since forever.

Nothing you do or say, fix or make, clean, install, throw away, invent, create, manage - whatever - there is not a single, solitary THING in the world that will be of any value or pleasure or solace to those around you...

If you're still drinking.

My husband has been "trying" lately. To finish things around the house. Be more present. Do things he said he was going to do. But tonight when I came home, of course, I could tell he had been drinking. Not horrible, hostile, falling down drunk, cussing me out drinking but drinking none the less. And so as he was showing me - with much pride I must add - the things he had gotten done, I wanted to say,

"So? You've been drinking."

I don't think addicts will ever get it.

In fact, I probably wouldn't believe any addict that said he "knows" or "understands" what it is he put(s) his family through. The only way I would believe an addict got it was if he said,

"I can't even begin to fully comprehend what I put my family through."

That would be the sentiment of an addict who "got it."

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I have been married to my alcoholic husband for over 20 years now. (So hard to believe and comprehend where that time went.) I have felt SO MANY things in these years of marriage. Disbelief. Rage.

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