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  • wrenrwaters

IT CAN BE THE ODDEST THINGS....when you're married to an alcoholic

Everyone knows the biggies of being married to an alcoholic. "Everyone" as in anyone. As in you don't need to be married to an alcoholic to guess it's the drunken nights and the obnoxious behavior. The passed out again or the cops calling again or the glassy eyed man looking at you like his inebriated state is a turn on. That's the easy stuff.

It's the other stuff. The stuff you only know when you're married to an alcoholic that sneaks up on you. Gut punches you when you're washing the dishes or doing the laundry.

We got a new television. In setting it up, my husband had to change the wifi password. One of the kids asked what the new password was and he told him. The password was related to my husband's job. We've been married over 20 years. We don't have a "standard" family password. We don't have an "our" password. The place we met. The name of our first dog. Where he proposed. Nothing sweet or romantic or connected to Us.

Is this the worse thing your alcoholic husband can serve up on a Friday night? Of course not. But it hurts the same as the worse things. Really. Because whether or not it is the obnoxious, in your face, drunken behavior of an alcoholic or the subtle, slights of omission he delivers, they all signify the same thing.

A broken, empty marriage.

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I have been married to my alcoholic husband for over 20 years now. (So hard to believe and comprehend where that time went.) I have felt SO MANY things in these years of marriage. Disbelief. Rage.

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